Last Friday my primary care doctor told me I needed to apply for long term Social Security.
The hospital program I applied for accepted me and I have another appointment this week to hopefully start spinal injections.
I thought the injections would "fix" everything however that is not the case. The injections will get me out of the daily pain and allow me to be more comfortable, however they will not "fix" me.
Somehow knowing all this calmed me inside. I can deal with anything as long as I know what my reality is.
And here it is:
- Unless I can find a job that I can do with my disabilities, I can't work.
- I do not know when I will have any money.
- I thank God every day for my friend who has opened up her house and couch for me, along with lots of hugs and support.
- The fuel pump in my car went out and I am praying my church's Auto Ministry can fix it. Luckily I was able to buy the parts with my last check. I will find out tomorrow if they can do the labor.
- I don't know my purpose or what tomorrow is going to bring.
Instead of giving up, I am looking at this as just a new chapter in my book of life.
So here's my plan:
My new job is to blog every day and paint every day.
I've cleaned up my email inbox and have only 38 emails to go.
I made all the bill arrangements I can and have asked for help.
I'm going to create whatever I feel like creating and set up at every event I can.
I'm going to network and learn as much as I can from everyone, hopefully including YOU!
God's on my side and I know I have to go through this to get where I need to be.
I'm scared, really scared. Accepting this truth and not knowing what this process is going to be like is a dark unknown so I have to stay in the present and surround myself with positive, artistic, honest people.
This is what I am going to do tomorrow.
Turn this broken cardboard shoebox into a box to hold my acrylics:
And finish this painting on canvas:
My boys do not like my Dragonfly Girls and feel I should go back to abstract painting if I want to make any money.
I already have so many Girls done that I am going to create mats and put them in cellophane bags to sell.
Maybe put a few on canvases also.
I thought about making a few custom coloring books of flowers, dragonflies and fairies? What do you think?
I really do not know where to go from here except forward.
If you have any advice on selling at events, on line or getting recognized please share if you don't mind.
Hope you had a Marvelous Monday!
Love, hugs and blessings to all.