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June 11, 2012

road to rebuilding my life...

Although I would have never imagined my life to look like this by the time I was 50 years old, I have to face the reality that this is where I am at.
I have no idea how to climb out of this hole.
I am grateful to my wonderful friend Cindy who has opened her heart, her home and her couch to me.
I am grateful to have my boys nearby.
I know that I will find a job that will accomidate my health issues.
I know that I will find an affordable place to rent.
I know that this will all take time.
But the reality of it all is that I am SCARED!
All the "what-ifs" and the ugly negative tapes playing in my head outweigh trying to be positive.
Its so much easier to see the way out or the positive side when helping others.
I'm really having a hard time doing that for myself.

So for part of my "rebuilding my life" is to keep doing art.
Although I do not have a place to paint or do any mixed media, I can do ink and pen drawings and that is what I will do, everyday, to stay connected to what brings me happiness and peace.

Have a wonderful Monday and find something to be grateful for!


Magic Love Crow said...

I don't understand why things like this happen? But, never give up! Give yourself a hug from me and keep the art going! I love it!

~Rasz~ said...

Hi my Lovely, Sweet Crow Friend!!! I think there are several reasons. One is it's just life! And then maybe we aren't where we are suppose to be and are not aknowledging the messages around us. So "Life" has to step in and give us no choice but to get on the path we were created to be on. Deep in my soul I believe that to be true. Life is very scary and uncomfortable for me right now but I am also getting an opportunity to maybe find who I am and where I am suppose to be :) At least that attitude calms me down a bit! Give your mom a BIG HUG and you are so lucky to have her in your life. Hugs girl!