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January 28, 2012

big changes...

I haven't posted lately because my life is in total change.
I really debated about whether to share my situation here or not.
Then I thought maybe someone else is going through major changes too,
and might be able to relate.

After six months my doctor released me to go back to work,
only to have no job to go back to. 
I had to apply for unemployment which is almost half of what I've been living on.

The lease on the house I have been renting with my bf is up and I can no longer pay my half of the bills on unemployment. Things weren't going so well anyway so we decided to not renew the lease and go our separate ways.
I know there is a reason this all happened at the same time.
Even my doctor gave me a big hug yesterday and told me that she believes this is going to be a wonderful year for me.

So me and Charlene (my dog) are going to move into a friend's house.

I've barely done anything these past couple weeks except walk back and forth through this little house dreading packing, crying and oh-so-scared!
And I have a nasty sinus infection too.

I started a new Dragonfly Girl but she's not finished yet:

To top it off I am going to be 50 in a month!
This is not how I expected my life to be at 50.
I pictured a great marriage, great job, owning a house...
You know, that fairy tale dream.

I have two weeks to get packed up, rent a storage and figure out what is going into storage and what I can take with me.

The good part is I can keep Charlene, my art table, my easel and my art supplies with me.

The hard part is being accountable for getting all this done.
Instead of looking at the great opportunity I truly believe this is,
I sit here and feel sorry for myself and beat myself up.

I've been here before and survived,
and looking back these types of circumstances always turned out to be such blessings.

I got the RAM in my 5 year old laptop a little larger so I can blog from it.
So to warn you in advance, I have decided to keep myself accountable I am going to blog every day about what I have done, am feeling and the new life ahead.

I may not have time to visit everyone until I get settled and I apologize in advance, 
but know that I hold all of my blogging friends in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

I am so grateful for a place to share.
Hope you are having a Splendid Saturday!


Diane said...

So sorry to hear about all of this--try to keep positive--I know it's hard, but just believe in yourself--my thoughts are with you.
P.S. 50 isn't bad--I'm coming up on the 60 mark :0

Magic Love Crow said...

My Friend, I think you are looking at everything the right way! I know it's tough, but do look at all this change as a blessing! My brother turns 50 at the end of February and he is back living with my mom and I. Something, he never expected! But, he is thankful he has a place to go to, like you with your friend! Look at this as a new adventure! Your going to do great! Big Hugs and many positive thoughts are being sent your way!! I love your new painting!! She has a lot of feeling in her eyes!

505whimsygirl said...

oh, sorry to hear about what you are facing right now. I'm glad that you have a friend's house to go to (along with your dog and easel - what a girl really needs!). Keep a positive outlook on your future. I hit 50 a few (or so) years ago and it's not as bad as people say.


Gregg said...

My heart goes out to you. Starting over is never fun, been there and done that. However, as tired as this old cliche is, it will only be what you put into it and make of it.

505whimsygirl said...

Just checking in. Hope you're doing well.


Heather Henry said...

Dear Robin, I am sorry this has been such a rough time for you. But I am certain that there are great things ahead. I definitely think that embarking on a new adventure is a scary thing, but also a very, very exciting thing. God is with you and you have many friends who love and support you through this time. I so wish I lived nearby, so I could come over and help you with packing and if nothing else, coffee!! :) I know whenever I go through difficult times, I always know that God has something amazing waiting for me on the other side of it. big hugs to you on your new journey.

Arlee Bird said...

Wishing you strength and optimism in your current situation. I can empathize with your ordeal as I've been unemployed for 3 years now. Unemployment ran out a year ago and I've now exhausted all of my reserves. I'm relying on my wife, who still has an excellent job, but I need income. I am older than you and I know the challenge that come with age.

We'll just have to hang in there and look forward to a better day.

Wrote By Rote
Twitter: @AprilA2Z

Connie said...

Dear Robin,
I am so sorry to hear your news, and you will certainly be in my prayers. Life has its ups and downs and from your story you have been down before. What I’ve learned in my 66 years is that each time it gets a little bit easier to get back up. The first time you doubt whether or not you can get yourself back up, but the next time you know that you can. Keep your ruffed up message in your pocket, but add this to it.
The Message: PSALMS 91:9-11
Because God is my refuge, the High God my very own home, evil can’t get close to me, harm can’t get through the door. He ordered His angels to guard me wherever I go.
P.S. Praise God you have a friend that will take you in, friends like that are a true blessing. Your blogging friend and follower, Connie

Keena said...

I am so sorry that you are having such a struggle...My prayers are with you....Email me and I'll give you my cell if you want to talk, vent, or pray!!

Terri Morse said...

Robin, I know this is a tough time in your life. I've been so busy dealing with my own crisis that I was not aware of what you've been going through. I hope this time of upheaval will result in good things. I know one thing - and I've hung onto this as my own life turned upside down over the last eight years: God NEVER lies. He has promised to supply ALL your needs, even when it looks as if everything is pointing to the contrary. I have watched while he solved so many problems for us and I KNOW he will care for you just as tenderly. I'll be here to support you and listen as much as you need. He will be there to carry you through the grieving and the changes...and back into the light. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Terri